to be smart and good

means you probably won't be making much money

April 20, 2026

The other day, I asked my mom, "Do you think STEM is harder than the humanities?"

"Of course not!" she said. "Humanities is so difficult -- one isn't harder than the other."

Admittedly, I was surprised; though maybe I shouldn't have been, because my mother has never really been one to take sides in this sense. Her neutrality used to irk me -- particularly when debating political matters where certain civil liberties are on the line. She does, however, tell me that I should do what I like, a sentiment I am grateful and privileged to have, because many other Asian daughters and sons of immigrants do not get that privilege. But it sometimes feels like I don't fully deserve to do what I want (i.e. humanities and the arts) because some of my peers don't have that privilege. Am I, then, ungratefully subjecting myself to the illiberal rules that certain immigrant parents impose on their kids? Or are certain children of immigrants restricting their own power to pursue their dreams, and I'm allowing that framework to permeate into my values?

Higher-paying jobs aren't necessarily "harder" than lower-paying ones, but it's difficult to extricate pay and challenge. My friend and I came up with a theory that generally, "intelligent" and "good" people barely get paid. To maximize money, one typically has to step into a position where less thought is required -- or maybe, critical thinking is discouraged, like in the context of a corporation where I cannot act in society's best interests. Or, maybe you can be intelligent, but you also have to be a little evil. Invent something that diminishes human connection, soak up as much money as possible in the process. I'm sure the world is more complicated than this, but why do people in nonprofits, where jobs serve a greater cultural or social cause, get paid significantly less than those in established companies? Why are people rewarded for thinking less and punished for acting upon humanistic ideals?

What this tells me -- and it's not anything new -- is that the humanities are far too devalued in society. We get paid less across the board. Less funding, less opportunity. We are not quite as rewarded for our scholarship or findings. We make this world worth living in. The world doesn't see us the same way. Or is all of this in my head and I imagined all those comments about how I'll be broke with my work? (Granted, everyone who has told me that are men and/or economics majors.)

I had a major reckoning with my values over the past few months, and I realized that I value intellect over pure creativity. Creativity is still one of my values, but it is more so tied to how I value individuality. In the past, I wanted to be creative in order to be able to attribute my name and my life to a unique work. "Creativity" in the Hollywood film industry sense does not provide me with much individuality at all; if I really wanted to make a movie, I'd much rather take it indie.

I've started enjoying movies again! I struggled to define my relationship to film last year for many overlapping reasons, let's just put it that way -- but now that I no longer have a desire to work in Hollywood, I feel like I've regained my taste for cinema. I'm so excited to return to LA this fall.