between lakes
to be three hours ahead
September 20, 2025
here, the horizon is a thin strip of deciduous forest on the cusp of bursting into color. the sunset feels later than it was at home; the sun is more golden reflected in the lakes.
my mind feels calm. i feel calm. i don't take this for granted: for the majority of this year, i had been living with a state of internal turmoil and heart-wrenching uncertainty, even if there are more difficult things in the world and there are people whose lives are more greatly disturbed by our [the united states'] impending descent towards authoritarianism. getting off social media was a necessary first move towards a somewhat stable tranquility. i didn't realize that my life at home and school was a status quo social medium of sorts; now, i am taking a break from that familiar social medium and, quite literally, living the life of a hermit.
i live in a cottage in the middle of the woods. across the street (which i need to jay-walk across cars going 40-60 miles an hour*) is an arts boarding school with a well-known classical music program in the summer and renowned guest artists. a minute walk from my house is the radio station i work at. when i get off work, i'd go to the lakeside and write my story. my pilot script, is, for once, materializing steadily. this arts academy is exactly an example of a classical music camp on which my story is set.
i now live in a rural area on the northern tip of Michigan, where surrounding me are not stretches of cookie-cutter houses, but forests and woodpeckers and geese and deer and crickets. i now live locked between two lakes. i enjoy the work that i do and the people i work with. most of my belongings are at home, but i feel like i have everything i need.
i don't necessarily think i'll stay here for more than a year, but i do think this is an ideal place to be for my first year and first job out of college. i still prefer the interconnectedness of cities and the accessibility of cultural activities. this -- this is the type of year i needed before i head off to an urban life.
*they're constructing a tunnel that connects the two sides of campus and it's set to be finished next month.
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Here's what I wrote a week prior:
Move-in day
This is my first time living alone for a year, in the US, outside of Southern California. I'm sitting on my bed, half-moved into this cottage in the middle of the woods next to the radio station I'll be working at for the next twelve months.and i'm terrified -- i'm uncomfortable -- this is new and unfamiliar and i already miss home. i'm by two lakes but i hardly know anyone. i'm next to a boarding high school for the arts and it's the first day here, so i know i'll get used to the space eventually, but i already feel the lingers of what i construe as cabin fever, constantly waiting and waiting to go home. all my expectations might as well be thrown out the window. it's beautiful here, but i'm also so inconceivably lonely right now.