i am utterly exhausted because this day was the longest it's been in a...few weeks, maybe. tutoring radio violin zoom call interview back to back to back. i feel all flushed out and i don't even want to watch Netflix anymore. all that waiting for any emails with interview requests, all that anticipation for absolutely no updates. i'm tired and i really just want to crawl into a void and fill this battery up but it's 9pm and do i really want to sleep that early? no?

and it's a Friday night and i want to call my friends except none of my friends seem to be free. and it's like a disease, this exhaustion, because anything i do now will simply dissolve what energy i have left. perhaps i want to be a zombie for a little while and this is the result: just a burned out girl looking for a job, any job, trying her hardest and still not getting anywhere. all that effort must...go somewhere...i hope...